Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Went for a walk in the (very muddy) country the other day. My wife took a picture of me. All I could see in it was a conspicuous roundness under my sweater. Since I'm not pregnant and I wasn't trying to conceal a football, I have to conclude that I'm overweight.

I've tried numerous faddy diets over the (new) years, but I've never tried the Atkins. So from yesterday, I began the Atkins diet. No carbs. No sugar. No alcohol. Easy, I thought, I can do that. So I was quite surprised to find myself watching TV last night and CRAVING fried potatoes. I resisted.

This morning I woke up with a very fuzzy head and the slenderest grip on my own train of thought. I CRAVED Marmite on toast. I resisted. Most of the day has been fuzzy; I've been vaguely present in the here and now. I looked up the problem online, and apparently it's carb withdrawal. Who would have thought such a thing existed? It usually passes in a day or so, so I'm hoping I'll be fine tomorrow.

I'll do it for a fortnight. By then, hopefully the football would have dropped from beneath my sweater ... and I go back to having multiple servings of toast, slowly building up a new football in time for January 2014. Maybe I'll try the South Beach Diet next time.

For anyone who wants to join me in my fuzzy-headed haze, here's a list of diets with their pros and cons according to the National Health Service (UK).

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